“There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven.” — Eccles. 3:1 (NLT)
You don’t have to be perfect to get married, and you can’t marry a perfect person. But both of you can know you are ready to make this life-long commitment. This section will help you to know.
1. Why do you think you are ready for marriage?
2. Why do you think your friend is ready for marriage?
3. Why do you want to get married? (Please see Wrong Reasons to Marry)
4. Have you ever been in another relationship that was moving towards marriage? If so, why was it broken off? What have you learned about yourself and about the nature of commitment from the break up?
5. What do you believe are the reasons you should marry this person?
6. How important is your relationship with God to you? Do you share a common faith in Christ, and do you both love God?
- How could someone else know that your relationship with God is important to you?
- Can you see that your friend’s relationship with God is important to him or her? What do you see that helps you know that?
7. Are you moving in the same direction and in general agreement about your goals? Take some time this week to discuss your goals.
“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” – Amos 3:3 (NLT)
8. Do your parents approve of the relationship?
- If they disapprove, what are the reasons?
- Is there anything you could do to help gain their approval and blessing?
“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God will give you.” – Exodus 20:12 (NLT)
9. Are there any other important people in your lives who think you should not get married to this person, or that this isn’t the right time? What are their reasons?
10. Do you find this person you plan to marry attractive– physically, emotionally, and intellectually?
11. Do you respect the person you are planning to marry? Here is what respect looks like:
Reliable: A person you can always trust
Ethical: A person who knows what is good and does it, no matter what the personal cost.
Sensible: A person who has gained wisdom through being teachable.
Patient: A person who can wait, and is not moved by every impulse.
Economical: A person who knows how to manage money.
Caring: A person who is not self-centered
Tested: A person who has faced challenges and become better because of them.
We are all growing, and no one is perfect. But you should see most of these qualities developing in a person you plan to entrust your life to. If you see any serious problems, please discuss it with your counselor.
Your pre-marriage counselor will discuss this section with you at your next meeting.